A new beginning
Here it is. A new blog, a new design, my first post. It’s a new start… once again. The last time I wrote a blogpost must have been at least 2 months ago. I couldn’t bring myself to writing anymore. My blog had as purpose to write. I use to be a frequent writer. I would write poetry, columns, song lyrics,… and then, all of a sudden, nothing… I’ve had several blogs. The last attempt was just in december last year. I just wanted to write, but then again I couldn’t.
What changed? What keeps me from writing? I really don’t know. I think that depression plays a big role in it. I feel like I’ve been depressed from as long as I remember, with ups and downs, being on meds and being on the loose,… I’ve never been diagnosed with anything because I never really saw a serious therapist. I know I’m HSP (High Sensitive Personality) and I think I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I don’t really know for sure and I’m not an mental health professional. I just feel my inner person is not “normal”.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a wacko and anyone that sees me just sees me as a normal person. I’m a girl that likes to make people smile, that has a broad spectrum of interests and likes to discuss with people, but inside I’m another person. I’m a person of extremes. Either I’m happy or I’m very down or I’m numb, which is not really good either. It drives me and my boyfriend, who’s the only one I let close enough to know the inside me, crazy.
So that’s a bit about me. I still didn’t figure out what the main purpose of this blog will be. I think it’s gonna have a variety of topics. It’s gonna be about myself, how I feel, how I deal with a loved one being a CSA (Childhood Sexual Abuse) survivor, about my interests (technology, cooking, injustice, music…) and about the adventures I live being an expat in the Middle East.
Enjoy the ride!