This is NOT a Valentine’s Day post, but it is – I think – a tribute to love.

7ayati,

This is our second Valentine’s Day together. Not that we celebrate it. Last year, this time, you just graduated and were studying hard for your shamel exams and I had this crappy job at a travel agency, just earning enough to pay the rent. No extra cash for any Valentine surpises.

In 2011, a lot has changed. You passed your shamel exams – who would have expected that? You got a job at the company of your dreams. By the time autumn arrived, it looked like everything was starting to go well for us. And then I went crazy and thought I could be successful without you and made the stupidest decision in my entire life – and you know, I made stupid decision before, but  never as stupid as this one.

We went through a month of hell, being each in another country, feeling miserable for not being together and because our dreams just vanished. Oh gosh, what a month it was. I’ve let you convince me that my place was here, in Amman, by your side and I came back. The decision was hard. In my opinion, I wasn’t worth your trust or love anymore, because I let you down, more than anyone had ever let you down.

After 2 months of being in another country, I came back here. And things between us were just perfect, just like I never left. In the beginning, I felt weird, strange, ashamed, guilty, but you talked all those feelings out of my head. We continued our life together and you asked me to marry you. I was surprised, because it was unexpected. But I was also thrilled. I knew that this was the chance to make things right.

You made the choice to be with me – first in November 2010 & then again in December 2011. But your choice made life harder on you, because of your family not excepting the fact that you want me and no one else. I think this Valentine’s Day is not really easy on you, being pressured because of  ideological differences between you and your family. Just remember that THIS is your life. Look back and see the path you’ve walked in this last year and a half. You came from far. You were already an amazing person, but you grew. You took care of yourself, of me, of us. You grew from this scared little boy into this caring young man. I’m so proud of you.

This year for Valentine, it is me that is the jobless one. So once again, no celebration. But that’s okay. No need for a one day per year celebration of our love. Don’t we celebrate our love on daily base? Aren’t it the small things that matter?

I enjoy watching a movie with you, falling asleep in each other’s arms, cooking together, shopping at Abdali in the middle of the night, acting all stupid with you, laying down by candle light discussing random stuff, getting a notification on Facebook that you posted something on my wall…

When we first met, we thought: Okay, we’re in love, it’s all new and all this feelings they will get less with time. But now, after almost 1 year and a half we realize that we love each other more and more every day and that the butterflies are still driving us mad.

Baby,

Lovak ana!

Yours, always and forever,

J.