What I learned about Happiness by being Unhappy
When I look back on the last decade of my life, I notice how much unhappy I was. I always believed others could be happy, but happiness wasn’t made for me. Quiet ridiculous, I know, but I just didn’t know any better. I was so much longing to be happy. Maybe just too much as now I discovered happiness is something that comes naturally, if you just go with the flow.
Here are the things I’ve learned over the past 80 days:
1. Appreciate the small things
So you might not have a fancy car, the right amount of money in the bank or the nice house you always imagined yourself living in, but is that really what happiness is about? I’m sure not having to worry about these kind of things, gives you some peace of mind. But what about the small things in life? Here are some things that make me happy these days:
– Waking up to a good morning message from my best friend. It’s heart-warming to know that someone wakes up in the morning, thinking about you and taking a minute of his or her time to wish you a good morning. Try it out. Wish someone dear to you a good morning or send them some positive vibes to start their day. You can make a difference.
– Walking to the metro in the sun. One of the reasons I wasn’t really happy in Europe was the bad weather. Waking up with cloudy skies every day doesn’t really help me to smile. Okay, true, Dubai in summer is very hot and humid, but still I enjoy it. I walk from home to the metro and from the metro to the office and enjoy the sun rays shining on my skin. And don’t forget, you are blessed with some Vitamin D at the same time.
– A good song on my mobile. I rediscovered my love for music and for good old classics. Make a playlist with songs that make you smile, that make you wanna dance, even if you’re standing up in the middle of a crowded metro. It takes some time, but it’s totally worth it. Here are some songs that make me smile in the morning:
- Tina Turner – Proud Mary
- The Beatles – I feel fine
- The Beatles – Drive my car
- Keysha – Timber (I know this one looks like the odd one out, but I’m pretty open-minded when it comes to my happiness playlist. Whatever makes me smile, can stay.)
- Lynyrd Skynyrd – Sweet Home Alabama
2. Don’t wait for others to make you happy
Your happiness depends on you. It’s all about you. No one can make you happy, if you are not up for it. I used to say, back when I was married: I’ll be happy if he is. I’ll be happy if X, I’ll be happy if Z… No need to put any conditions on being happy. How can people around you be happy if you are miserable? It doesn’t work. Let yourself be happy and your happiness and positive attitude will inspire others, for sure.
3. Forget about the future. Live now!
I used to be that kind of person that always thinks about the future. I’d just dig into my mind to find a 10 years plan ready: healthy relationship, kids, nice home, car, a job I enjoy… And not having some of these things or not seeing myself having it anytime soon, would make me so unhappy. I’d just put additional pressure on myself. But is that really worth being unhappy for? I mean, after all the point is that you wanna be happy. And it matters to be happy now, right in this moment, not in 10 years from now, because after all, no one knows how long we’ll be on this planet. We might have 30 years left, but it might be over next week. (Knock on wood that we’ll all live a long and happy life.) So why wait to be happy? Be happy in this moment. Hakuna matata!
Have you been happy after being unhappy for a long time? How did you snap out of being miserable? How do you maintain your happiness? Don’t hesitate to share it in the comments section.